Yes, I Mean You Have To Take These Back.

Good afternoon my fellow blog reader[s]. It is I, Carl, the other half of the dynamic UBC duo filling in for Natasha to talk about a topic of much consternation: Book Donations.

It is a common misconception that one can simply leave their unwanted books here at the Booksmith; that with a wink and a nod we will quote/unquote Take Care of Them. Now, I can empathize with the desire to simply be rid of unwanted books. People travel long distances and some take public transportation and many more hoof it with overstuffed backpacks. I feel your pain. It can be an arduous task getting them here and then to have to take them back? Bah! Sorry Carl. No can do. I will simply leave them in front of your store like an orphan on a church step in the dead of night. Or better yet, tell you I'm going to Trader Joe's and that I'll be back later to pick them up (promise!) even though I know you're thinking "How is this dude going to carry his groceries AND this box of books?" well don't you worry about that because I'm a magician and my greatest trick is that I can go the grocery store and not only carry my groceries home but completely ignore the fact that I just left you with a box of unsaleable books. Ha! Suckers!

While it isn't a huge deal for dispose of unwanted books, it can't always be our responsibility - the balance of ownership doesn't tilt in our direction once they enter our store. Also, we don't have a lot of extra space to store boxes of books. That door behind the buying desk? It goes nowhere. Have you ever seen Being John Malkovich? It's sort of like that. But you end up in far worse place then the side of a highway in New Jersey. Trust me. It's ugly.

Again, I feel your pain.

So what to do with the books we can't buy? Here are a few suggestions:

Obvious, with little work involved:
-Donate them to a non profit charity, library, homeless shelter, prison or school program. There are many organizations in the Boston area alone that are in dire need of reading materials. We're actually working on a list of places and will post them online and in the store when finished.
-Bring them to another used book store! What we can't take another store might. One's trash is another's treasure.

Slightly less obvious, with a medium amount of work involved:
-Mail them to a buddy or several buddies as a gag. Its a semi-expensive gag, sure. But man, the look on their face when they open that box will be well worth it. Wow! A Dean Koontz omnibus and the last half of the Da Vinci Code. Great! Been meaning to throw these away! Careful when shipping as anything higher than media mail and the joke is on you.
-You could burn 'em. Normally I wouldn't suggest burning books but really that collection of '85 Honda Civic manuals ain't gonna just disappear on their own.

Even less obvious, with a fair amount of work involved:
-You could, over a period of time, systematically throw them one by one on to our roof. I've been suggesting this for years. There's probably a collection up there that would make the BPL weep.
-You could, over a period of time, systematically throw them one by one onto your own roof (works best if your's is flat). This acts as a sort of low budget insulation in the winter and summer months. Think about it: traps heat in the winter and keeps the sun from melting you in the summer. Spring and fall being your best heaving seasons. Note: requires a ladder if you have, say, tennis elbow or a bum shoulder. Or ungrateful children who forgot about all those times you drove them to the mall. Or whatever.
-You could sprinkle them about town like some high-brow, uber-literate Johnny Appleseed. Leave a few at the laundromat, a doctor's office, food court. get creative. But not too creative.

In conclusion, this whole messy situation can be avoided by first sorting through your books. Books with underlining, torn covers, broken spines, water damage, or mold should be left out. As should outdated materials (old almanacs, textbooks, or manuals), hardcover best sellers (we buy mostly paperbacks), audio tapes, magazines, random shoes, phone books, and small appliances. And as always, if you have any questions or comments feel free to get us on the horn or electronically send us a letter.

I love you all,
Carl

Inside Jokes

So these are some cool books that are in the UBC. Basically, they're awesome. They're sitting around waiting for a home. And I bet you a ka-trillion dollars that if you bought one, had it wrapped, and gave it as a gift it might work as an inside joke or it could even become one. Or maybe all the books together create some sort of inside joke, a wink perhaps, to a certain husband of the blogger who's turning 30 on Sunday. Just sayin' 'zall.

For your consideration: 

Ennui To Go, or, for $8 a collection of quotes from awesome people throughout the ages on the subject of ennui, published by Seattle publishing house Sasquatch.

F in Exams, or for $5.50 an exciting collection to prepare tomorrow's professor.

Copernicus: Philosophy and Science. For $9.50, a cool catalogue for an exhibition of prints, engravings and manuscripts. A perfect gift for the philosopher or historian of science. Lotsa words in here, too.

Or, my personal favorite, Space Shuttle. $3.50 FOLKS! Cross-sections, illustrations and facts from a bygone era. This book was written by a Ph.D., so you KNOW it's legit.

In closing, Happy Birthday to all you Aquarians born on the same day as Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin who like the movie Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy, dark chocolate and coffee and whose favorite athlete is Maru.


Also: happy laughing to people who have friends and share jokes.

Nifty Gifties

We got some holidays coming up, folks! People are really into giving new books as gifts, but what about rare, out-of-print vintage cool things? Below I'm highlighting some of the most special things of all you won't find anywhere else in the WORLD but the Used Book Cellar. These are rad things you should totally give to those people on your list that have everything. 'Cuz they won't have these:

For the budding grand sommelier, an epic-huge hardcover book "Wines of the World" with full-color photographs, endpapers and a SLIPCASE. Nothin' says class like a slipcase. The book is huge and well-bound so it lies flat. It has a bit of the history of wine, and talks about some ideas for ones to look out for, but as this was printed in 1967, the bread and butter of this book (or cheese and crackers?) is the exhaustive guide to regions, and what kinds of wine come from where, what they taste like, why they taste the way they do. A really fascinating, beautiful book. $20 smackers.

For the funny-man, kooky-lady, anglophile or philosophy major who needs a laugh over the winter break, if I were you I would SERIOUSLY consider The Brand New Monty Python Bok [sic]. This book is rated NC-17 guys, but really there's something for everyone (over 17) here. In standard Python fashion nothing is sacred, all things are satirized and there are lots of pictures. Crude humor. Making fun of monarchs. Sex advice. Rat recipes. Fairy tales. Etiquette tips. Rene Descarte detective stories. Basically, you and anyone worth knowing deserves this book. All this can be yours for just $15 bucks. This is a HUGE savings off of the (fake) list price of £142.48½

For the history buff grampa who's always saying you wouldn't have a chance in a fight against Winston Churchill (I'm in therapy now, guys, don't worry) I present to you The New Yorker War Album. This book was printed in 1942 and is full of New Yorker cartoons lampooning the 1st and 2nd World Wars. Full of subtle humor and slices-of-life from the years of the Great War, this would make a rare, cool gift. $14

The UBC is mad-rich in fancy art books. Big ones, small ones, expensive ones, inexpensive ones. Rare, awesome, etc. We're all over the board! Art is the way to go to impress the cultured ones in your life, and why break the bank to impress someone? Everyone is impressed by the guy or gal who can get a $75 art book for $13. Which is possible here.

So show us the goods, you might be saying? Here is but a SAMPLING dear readers:

I'm obsessed with Penguin book covers, and look at this thing we got in that I DID NOT EVEN KNOW EXISTED: A whole MONOGRAPH of the full paintings used on Penguin covers. Some beautiful, strange stuff in here. Color and black and white. A cool old saddle-stitched book of paintings by Ben Shahn. In 1949 it went for three shillings and sixpence at modern art museums EXCLUSIVELY. But YOU can have it for $5.

For $20 we have a monograph of Anish Kapoor (the shiny Chicago bean guy) that is both physically a beautiful book (shiny endpapers! handwritten notes sewn into the center of the binding!) as well as a fascinating exploration into a VERY contemporary sculptor's process, inspirations and oeuvre.

And for $8 (this is a crazy deal) we have this really large trim-size (I'm talking 15" x 11") book of 16 color plates of French Primitives, beautiful paintings of French medieval life and interest beautifully reproduced (sometimes with metallic ink!). The pages are loose, making each leaf ready for framing!

Thanks for reading! If you have any books you want to turn into cash or store credit, we're here Wednesdays through Saturdays, 10 AM-4PM.