QUIZ: Should you fire your Muse?

Guys I can't figure out how to embed a quiz function in Blogger so get out a pencil & paper or iPhone or neurally-embedded microchip or whatever the kids are using nowadays to write things down.

Should you fire your muse? A quiz:
Choose one answer per question. No cheating.

1. I am currently reading:
A) Dude, like, thirty different books. I'm running out of bookmarks. It's kind of a dire situation actually. I just can't resist that dollar cart.
B) It's this novel about this guy whose father is a drug-dealer and he recruits his son to mule drugs through small-town airports for him but then this guy double-crosses his dad after falling in love in a diner and I don't want to tell you what happens because it's really gripping but also a super moving portrait, like you really connect with the character, I swear I was moved to tears, you really have to read it, here you can borrow my copy.
C)  Something featured on NPR.
D) Something with a spaceship on the cover.

2. My ideal work space is:
A) 4am me my desk and coffee coffee coffee all the coffee
B) Around people/out in public (not necessarily at a cafe because that's a major cliche and originality is more or less the point of this whole venture but also a coffee counter within ambling distance wouldn't be too shabby either let's be honest).
C) A lush private garden. Y'know like the overgrown kind with ancient trees dripping with ivy and small woodland creatures and maybe a dilapidated hedge maze.
D) I have all my best ideas in the shower. 

3. Preferred timepiece:
A) Wristwatch/Pocketwatch
B) Phone
C) Little digital screen on the microwave 
D) Position of the sun

4. I'd dump a potential significant other if they:
A) Gave me a cutesy nickname.
B) Ate the last potato chip and then left the empty bag in the cupboard and THEN didn't even write it on the grocery list.
C) Touched my butt in public.
D) Get annoyed when I pop the bubble wrap that comes in the packages I order from ebay for the express purpose of getting bubble wrap. Life's little pleasures. Come on.

5. I believe in:
A) God
B) Myself
C) Anti-oxidants
D) Whichever answer sounds the most cynical.

Results: Yes you should fire your muse. Internet quizzes are the lowest circle of inspiration hell; the last bastion of bored procrastinators. Your muse is clearly not even trying.

Fear not, citizens! Your scores have been tabulated by our most advanced computers (they beep!) and your ideal fount of passionate creativity assessed. Google your new muse, bask in their genius, then go forth. Make art.

If you answered:
Mostly As - Natalie Portman (admit it, most gorgeous person ever, also brilliant, also I think vegan or at least vegetarian).
Mostly Bs - Junot Diaz, my favorite writer to ever speak here, by the way. Oh my god he shook my hand.
Mostly Cs - A majestic wild beast who nonetheless possesses some startlingly anthropomorphic feature(s), (eyes of measureless wisdom, can talk, is good at scrabble, etc.) Go reread C. S. Lewis.
Mostly Ds - George Takei, god-king of the internet.

Elizabeth Berkley; still making smart cool.

The event for her new book Ask Elizabeth was quite moving. Berkley was eloquent and composed, chatty and accessible. She even took a moment to make fun of some of her more famous choreography.

I wanted to write about this event because it was special in a few ways. Elizabeth Berkley is on the NYT best seller list, and she chose to start her talk by thanking our store. She launched into a riff about the importance of independent bookstores, and keeping communities individual, and being out among other people interacting with the world, in a manner that can't be achieved through a square interface. (my weird wording not hers.)

I grew up loving her character Jessie Spano, the leggy nerd who made being smart and commanding look cool. She got behind our podium in her 5" Louis Vuittons and was pushing 6'5". The advice she gave about self image was "If you are uncomfortable being the tall girl, then buy heels and be taller." I left the event surprised and energized. The audience asked so many great questions and she handled them all with an articulate passion.

Ask Elizabeth is now officially a nonprofit (501)c3 ...learn more about it :here:

Perhaps the best part of her talk was the moment she crossed her hands fast in a nod to her (now) cult classic, Showgirls. Berkley is super engaging because she is honest, humble and appears to be deeply committed to her work. (Bonus points for shouting out the indies!)

Hungry Eyes...Influence and Duende...Sorta

I chose this title just so while you are reading this....the song will be stuck in your head and contributing to any unintentional pathos found herein. Yesterday after work I swam home and turned on the AC and TLC....(the ladies' channel) I watched "Say Yes to the Dress" and ate some goldfish while reading poetry by Louise Gluck. I find no irony in this.

I then went on Facebook wherein I saw that my fella had taken the "I write like" test, and apparently...according to this kitschy little monstrosity....he writes like David Foster Wallace. I of course had to put in my "work" and low and behold...I too write like DFW. This got me thinking...doesn't everyone writing/ thinking in this postpostpost- modernity kinda write like DFW....in a reference rich simulacrum of conscilience? Then I found this AP article on the whole phenomena http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j93L3sF-VA-F548doKe70er5uD0wD9H0DAU81
The little nugget about Herman Melville writing more like Steven King than himself is just delightful.

It brings up an interesting idea about influence. That is why when I write I like to have reality television on in the background. I like to know a lot about Angelina Jolie and Ochocinco. I think it keeps me present and keeps my brain from swimming too deeply in Lorca's duende. I think it is important that we treat all media...well....most media with care...and by care I mean...acknowledgment of its presence...because whether we like it or not it is here to stay...and I'd like to have a really clear idea as to what it is I am making fun of, or criticizing...and why.

"...they make billions" she said, as we shook our head over the greed of a certain monolithic octopus online corporation that is threatening to stop selling goods to my homestate's businesses, should the state pass a law that requires that corporation to collect sales tax on goods sold to businesses there.

you know who doesn't make billions?
writers
clowns
comedians
99.9% of actors
poets
painters
sculptors
graffiti artists
chefs
dancers
singers
musicians
99.9% of filmmakers
teachers.

And not one of them, not one of them, who over the course of my life have provided the spark for my laughter, or brought tears to my eyes, or lit a fire of inspiration inside of me, have ever threatened to withhold their services, for any reason.

Buy poetry, as a friend wrote here recently.
And look at paintings, and taste the food you eat,
and listen to the words of the songs you hear.

And don't let anyone tell you that a corporation is a person.