Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops: Brookline Edition (Part 1?)

Jen Campbell's Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops addresses a topic that's pretty near and dear to my heart. It ain't a bad book. But we can do better. This post is a highlights reel (and possible recurring feature?) of all the wacky verbal gems our booksellers have collected over the years. Not gonna lie - you guys say some weird stuff.


Customer: "Is this a women's book?"
Bookseller: "Pardon?"
Customer: "This book. Is it for women to read?"
Bookseller: "I... don't see why not?"
Customer: "Oh. Well that's no good. I need a men's book. Do you have any books for men?"

~ ~ ~

Two customers perusing audiobooks:
1: "I'm surprised there aren't more of these."
2: "Yeah, some people still like to read books."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Who wrote Charles Dickens?"
Bookseller: "..."
Customer: "Sorry - who wrote A Christmas Carol?"

~ ~ ~

Bookseller: "We can order that book in for you, but it's only available in hardcover."
Customer: "How hard is it?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "I'm looking for the book about dinosaurs in space."
Bookseller: "I'm not familiar with that one. Do you know the title?"
Customer: "Something like Star T-Rex."
Bookseller: "...could it be Star Trek?" 
Customer: "Oh. I guess. That's not nearly as cool, is it?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Do you give discounts for good looks?"
Bookseller: "You're not my type."
Customer: "That line always works at the library."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "I'm looking for that new hippopotamus book."
Bookseller: "Is that... Elegance of the Hedgehog?"
Customer: "Yup."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "I'm looking for a book but I don't have the title or the author and all I know is it's VERY erotic."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Where are the books on illiteracy?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "What kind of books are these?"

Bookseller: "All the ones in this section are fiction."
Customer: "Like, pretend?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Please tell me you have a book on domesticating chickens."

Bookseller: "I can't believe it but yes."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Where are your adult pop-up books?"

Bookseller: "Adult pop-up?"
Customer: "Yeah. You know. The sexy ones."

~ ~ ~

And one final gem from the pen-testing paper on our art supplies table:

Stay classy, Brookline. We heart you.

Black Friday is upon us!

Retail workers around the world are bracing themselves for the holiday rush, and though it officially starts today, the Booksmith is READY, cowboys and cowgirls. We've already had crowds the last few weeks (THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU), we have a big beautiful gift book table front and center, and we have this fancy gift guide on the internet! And this Tumblr with tons of recommendations on it! You can shop on our website or call us in the store and we'll wrap and ship your presents basically anywhere. If it's a really cool destination, like Hawaii, I think a lot of booksellers would be happy to deliver it personally for a nominal shipping and handling fee. Us Booksmithies are wildly aware of how lucky we are to have such a fiercely loyal customer base that shows up every year and takes our advice on gifts and walks away with presents for most of their family from our humble little shoppe.

But if I can get on my preachy high horse for a minute: if you're thinking of not buying local, reconsider. We may not carry a really obscure copy of an academic book on the statistics of manatee migrations that you think would be a killer gift for your dad, but because of our space, what we do offer is a highly curated and super-considered selection of anything lots of kinds of people will love. So if you re-calibrate your expectations to walk in our doors and see what we recommend, we have 51 years of experience in your neighborhood, and our staff has cumulatively some 20 higher ed degrees and hundreds of years experience reading and seeing what works for our customers. So keep it local this year! Fight the internet conglomerate beast! WE PAY OUR TAXES! Things are cheaper online because companies don't incur the costs of having a shop of crazy brilliant, super-excited booksellers running around helping you, with lights and heat on, with rent costs in our neighborhood and then funneling tax money back into the community we share. So yeah it would be nice to save a few bucks on a book or gift, BUT AT WHAT COST? Those discounts are doing something bigger. They're changing the world, and this year you can put your money where your ideals are and decide which world you wanna live in.

Here at the Booksmith we are eager to help you walk away with the best gift for your friend or family member because, really, gifts and books are all we care about. They're our full-time jobs and our hobbies at home. We know our stuff and we're so excited about it, that we want to help you choose the perfect gift. So stop in, say hi, and let us work our holiday magic!