Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops: Brookline Edition (Part 1?)

Jen Campbell's Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops addresses a topic that's pretty near and dear to my heart. It ain't a bad book. But we can do better. This post is a highlights reel (and possible recurring feature?) of all the wacky verbal gems our booksellers have collected over the years. Not gonna lie - you guys say some weird stuff.


Customer: "Is this a women's book?"
Bookseller: "Pardon?"
Customer: "This book. Is it for women to read?"
Bookseller: "I... don't see why not?"
Customer: "Oh. Well that's no good. I need a men's book. Do you have any books for men?"

~ ~ ~

Two customers perusing audiobooks:
1: "I'm surprised there aren't more of these."
2: "Yeah, some people still like to read books."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Who wrote Charles Dickens?"
Bookseller: "..."
Customer: "Sorry - who wrote A Christmas Carol?"

~ ~ ~

Bookseller: "We can order that book in for you, but it's only available in hardcover."
Customer: "How hard is it?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "I'm looking for the book about dinosaurs in space."
Bookseller: "I'm not familiar with that one. Do you know the title?"
Customer: "Something like Star T-Rex."
Bookseller: "...could it be Star Trek?" 
Customer: "Oh. I guess. That's not nearly as cool, is it?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Do you give discounts for good looks?"
Bookseller: "You're not my type."
Customer: "That line always works at the library."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "I'm looking for that new hippopotamus book."
Bookseller: "Is that... Elegance of the Hedgehog?"
Customer: "Yup."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "I'm looking for a book but I don't have the title or the author and all I know is it's VERY erotic."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Where are the books on illiteracy?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "What kind of books are these?"

Bookseller: "All the ones in this section are fiction."
Customer: "Like, pretend?"

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Please tell me you have a book on domesticating chickens."

Bookseller: "I can't believe it but yes."

~ ~ ~

Customer: "Where are your adult pop-up books?"

Bookseller: "Adult pop-up?"
Customer: "Yeah. You know. The sexy ones."

~ ~ ~

And one final gem from the pen-testing paper on our art supplies table:

Stay classy, Brookline. We heart you.