Guys I can't figure out how to embed a quiz function in Blogger so get out a pencil & paper or iPhone or neurally-embedded microchip or whatever the kids are using nowadays to write things down.
Should you fire your muse? A quiz:
Choose one answer per question. No cheating.
1. I am currently reading:
A) Dude, like, thirty different books. I'm running out of bookmarks. It's kind of a dire situation actually. I just can't resist that dollar cart.
B) It's this novel about this guy whose father is a drug-dealer and he recruits his son to mule drugs through small-town airports for him but then this guy double-crosses his dad after falling in love in a diner and I don't want to tell you what happens because it's really gripping but also a super moving portrait, like you really connect with the character, I swear I was moved to tears, you really have to read it, here you can borrow my copy.
C) Something featured on NPR.
D) Something with a spaceship on the cover.
2. My ideal work space is:
A) 4am me my desk and coffee coffee coffee all the coffee
B) Around people/out in public (not necessarily at a cafe because that's a major cliche and originality is more or less the point of this whole venture but also a coffee counter within ambling distance wouldn't be too shabby either let's be honest).
C) A lush private garden. Y'know like the overgrown kind with ancient trees dripping with ivy and small woodland creatures and maybe a dilapidated hedge maze.
D) I have all my best ideas in the shower.
3. Preferred timepiece:
C) Little digital screen on the microwave
D) Position of the sun
4. I'd dump a potential significant other if they:
A) Gave me a cutesy nickname.
B) Ate the last potato chip and then left the empty bag in the cupboard and THEN didn't even write it on the grocery list.
C) Touched my butt in public.
D) Get annoyed when I pop the bubble wrap that comes in the packages I order from ebay for the express purpose of getting bubble wrap. Life's little pleasures. Come on.
5. I believe in:
D) Whichever answer sounds the most cynical.
Results: Yes you should fire your muse. Internet quizzes are the lowest circle of inspiration hell; the last bastion of bored procrastinators. Your muse is clearly not even trying.
Fear not, citizens! Your scores have been tabulated by our most advanced computers (they beep!) and your ideal fount of passionate creativity assessed. Google your new muse, bask in their genius, then go forth. Make art.
If you answered:
Mostly As - Natalie Portman (admit it, most gorgeous person ever, also brilliant, also I think vegan or at least vegetarian).
Mostly Bs - Junot Diaz, my favorite writer to ever speak here, by the way. Oh my god he shook my hand.
Mostly Cs - A majestic wild beast who nonetheless possesses some startlingly anthropomorphic feature(s), (eyes of measureless wisdom, can talk, is good at scrabble, etc.) Go reread C. S. Lewis.
Mostly Ds - George Takei, god-king of the internet.