Sunday, January 20, 2013

Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops: Brookline Edition (Part 1?)


Jen Campbell's Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops addresses a topic that's pretty near and dear to my heart. It ain't a bad book. But we can do better. This post is a highlights reel (and possible recurring feature?) of all the wacky verbal gems our booksellers have collected over the years. Not gonna lie - you guys say some weird stuff.


Customer: "Is this a women's book?"
Bookseller: "Pardon?"
Customer: "This book. Is it for women to read?"
Bookseller: "I... don't see why not?"
Customer: "Oh. Well that's no good. I need a men's book. Do you have any books for men?"
~ ~ ~
Two customers perusing audiobooks:
1: "I'm surprised there aren't more of these."
2: "Yeah, some people still like to read books."
~ ~ ~
Customer: "Who wrote Charles Dickens?"
Bookseller: "..."
Customer: "Sorry - who wrote A Christmas Carol?"
~ ~ ~
Bookseller: "We can order that book in for you, but it's only available in hardcover."
Customer: "How hard is it?"
~ ~ ~
Customer: "I'm looking for the book about dinosaurs in space."
Bookseller: "I'm not familiar with that one. Do you know the title?"
Customer: "Something like Star T-Rex."
Bookseller: "...could it be Star Trek?" 
Customer: "Oh. I guess. That's not nearly as cool, is it?"
~ ~ ~
Customer: "Do you give discounts for good looks?"
Bookseller: "You're not my type."
Customer: "That line always works at the library."
~ ~ ~
Customer: "I'm looking for that new hippopotamus book."
Bookseller: "Is that... Elegance of the Hedgehog?"
Customer: "Yup."
~ ~ ~
Customer: "I'm looking for a book but I don't have the title or the author and all I know is it's VERY erotic."
~ ~ ~
Customer: "Where are the books on illiteracy?"
~ ~ ~
Customer: "What kind of books are these?"
Bookseller: "All the ones in this section are fiction."
Customer: "Like, pretend?"
~ ~ ~
Customer: "Please tell me you have a book on domesticating chickens."
Bookseller: "I can't believe it but yes."
~ ~ ~
Customer: "Where are your adult pop-up books?"
Bookseller: "Adult pop-up?"
Customer: "Yeah. You know. The sexy ones."
~ ~ ~
And one final gem from the pen-testing paper on our art supplies table:



Stay classy, Brookline. We heart you.

2 comments:

B. Peterson said...

I think I need to read this. Yup. Definitely need to read this.

B. Peterson said...

I think I need to read this. Yup. Definitely need to read this.