Caught you eyeing the goods last week - m4w (Pemberley)
Girl, you didn't need to run off like you did. With a brain that fine, mi casa es su casa. Care to join me for a stroll round the estate? Let's ditch your sister though. Her new hubby harshes my vibe.
Still waiting... - m4G (near a tree I think?)
Yo Godot, this is getting ridiculous. I've never been stood up before and I don't plan on starting now so I'm here for the foreseeable future; the least you could do is text to say you're on your way. Show a little hustle, please; the suspense is killing me.
I asked for amour not a moor - m4w (your place, Yorkshire)
Babe we could have had it all and then you had to go and die. I gotta say, that really grinds my gears. Now I'm stuck at the back end of nowhere, bored as all get-out and brooding like there's no tomorrow. BTW your family is insufferable. Wish you'd swing by; ghost lovin' beats nothing at all. I'll leave the window open.
At the altar, eons ago - w4m (Satis House)
More like Saddest House, am I right? Our wedding cake gathers dust on the table and some scruffy orphan keeps hitting on my daughter. Still can't get you out of my head. Even now the unquenchable thirst for vengeance surges through my body like a bilious tide... oh but I can't stay mad at you. Let's start over. I'm already in my dress + veil and good to go. This time, buddy, you sign the pre-nup.
Sea captain seeks his one and only - m4wh (Melville, USA)
Me: tyrannical, hard-bitten, one peg leg.
You: white, aquatic, and kind of a Dick.
Can I buy you a drink? The Harpoon IPA is quite good...
(Cheat sheet: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5)