Hobbitual Chaos

Everyone's getting all "excited" and "worked up" and "anxious" for the first installment of Peter Jackson's Hobbit trilogy, hitting theaters in December. Well. I'm here to tell you that we recently acquired a book in the UBC that forewarns of the trouble wrought by fantasy novels and thematically similar role-playing games. Before you start reading The Hobbit, or taking home a volume of the below-mentioned Dungeons & Dragons guidebooks we have in used, please be aware of the chaos wrought by the Dark Lord when you play and have fun with EVIL.

In Satanism and Occult-Related Violence: What You Should Know ($6.50 used), authors Michael D. Langone, Ph.D. (Psychology) and Linda O. Blood, BFA (Fashion Design) warn of what can happen when teenagers get too worked up by fantasy worlds and role-playing games: "[...] players lose sight of the fact that it is only a game [and] report that the action in D&D is often described so vividly that they can visualize it as if they were watching it actually happen. [evidence is cited] indicating that 'fantasy role-playing games have been a significant factor in at least 125 deaths,'" when gamers take the game too far and start thinking they can cast spells away from the tabletop. So be warned, kids. D&D is no laughing matter.

And if you want to learn why yourself, a wise customer sold off his collection of game guides, so the UBC currently has the Dungeonmaster's Guide (Core Rulebook II, $15) and the Forgotten Realms Campaign book ($20). And I challenge you, reader, to come try and play a game with me and some booksellers. Things might be crazy but this is the only way to get to the bottom of this Satanic menace. Also you should probably read The Hobbit before the movie comes out. Just to know what to expect when the kids are all dressin' like dragons and ringwraiths and skippin' about in the streets.