Thursday, April 7, 2011

Props to the guy that makes my mochas for this resulting rush of mildly entertaining observational humor and poor grammar.

Sir, what you do for your country is truly heroic.

I have real content to present, but first, a mini rant about hyperbole. My generation has been accused of abusing hyperbole, probably because of our close and personal relationship with the internet which has caused our collective imagination to turn ever so slightly...visual hallucination-y. The internet is a place where Paula Deen is photoshopped into photos riding various celebrities, public works installations, produce, etcetera ( It is a place where people take .jpegs of Disney princesses, draw glasses on them, give them hipster dialogue (Hipster Disney Princesses) and we all thinks its hysterical. Somewhere in that primal soup of ridiculousness, the word "literally" started getting pushed around. "But guys I literally just waited like a hundred hours for this mocha. Like somebody please use me to irrigate your fields, because I am Old Man River now. There are endangered Grizzly bears lining up at my banks to grab red salmon out of my rolling waters, thats how long the wait was."

(this is clearly a lie, we all know how I feel about the mocha guy: <3 <3 <3 moving on.)

So I will admit the fact that this "literally" has been abused. HOWEVER, if I may, I would also say that, you older generations, you guys are just as guilty. My stepmother Derby likes to keep the saying "More ____ than you can shake a stick at" in rotation. Oh really? Really. More of one thing than you can shake a stick at. That is a staggering amount of something; I have pretty poor upper body strength and my right shoulder keeps mysteriously clicking because I keep putting my backpack on one shoulder (Because that makes you cool, right? Scholiosis is pretty 'in' I think) but I am pretty sure I can shake a stick at a lot of stuff. Its really more of a general, boundary-less area/direction in which the stick is shaken, so technically...

Ok. Presumably you get my point. Just saying. This generational discrimination shall not stand! Except for all the other stuff thats true. Okay. Moving on.

Having said that, I am NOT, repeat NOT dipping into said generation's still, serene pool of hyperbole to say that Tina Fey changed my life with her career and her personality. I am a silly lady and so I look to other silly ladies, like Tina Fey, Maria Bamford, Margaret Cho, Tig Notaro, among many others, for advice on how to best pilot my anxious-heavy and caffeine-supported 20's. Fey was the first female writer on SNL. Right there, you can drop the mic right there, because that is so badass that all arguments are rendered invalid. Isn't Saturday Night Live on its like 38th season? In TV world that's like a "Gold Statue From The Arc Of The Covenant" anniversary, because you start out with stuff like sticks and paste and work your way up to gold and silver, but 38 years of a TV show isn't even a thing. Of course, Fey didn't even come along till '97, and didn't become head writer in '99 (Thanks, wikipedia) and there were several other talented female writers on staff that came before her, but to be head writer on an establishment like SNL is a pretty major accomplishment. I look up to Tina, she is one of my role models.

Her autobiography came out on tuesday. Last night I bought my copy and carried it around like a security blanket all night. I have only read the first 20 pages, but Fey is just as funny in print as she is on film. I am trying to blackmail our events director, Evan, into booking Fey to do an event, but he won't even tell me if she's going on tour because I want it too bad and he delights in my pain. He said it "is like candy" to him. From the mouths of jerks, I tell you. D'awwwww.

Well internet, that's all friends. I'd like to thank my parents, the Mocha Guy, Tina Fey, the Nerdist podcast that I listened to while crafting this deep, meaningful and well-thought out response to the fast paced world of popular media and the consumption thereof.

Haha jk Lolololol <3 Zoe loves ridin' the sugar wave

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